The Person Who Can’t Keep Appointments

June 28, 2010 By 10 Comments

We all know someone who can’t keep appointments.  Maybe a co-worker, a friend, or even a client.

You know who I am talking about.  The one who always cancels things at the last minute.  The person who shows up to the meeting that is already in progress.  The individual that can be counted on to have a total disregard for everyone else’s time.

In fact, they are so consistent, that everyone expects them to be late or a no-show.

How to Deal With The Late Ones

People who exhibit this behavior can be counted on for one thing: to waste other people’s time.

Ironically, at first, people may think these individuals are just really busy.  Maybe they are doing a lot of important stuff?

But, it doesn’t take long for the reality to become obvious.  People begin to understand that the person’s lateness is due to disorganization, lack of planning, and basically just drowning in their obligations.

Unless you want to have your time wasted by these individuals, you need to defend your time.  You need to have to have tactics to deal with these time-wasters, or they will waste your time.  Every time.

(Doctors figured this one out a long time ago, and hence the missed appointment fees that everyone dislikes.)

Tips for dealing with the person who is always late:

  1. Make them Come See You – Stop wasting your time tracking down the person who is late or no-shows.  And here is the secret: make them come see you on your time.  Set a time on your schedule for them to come back to you.  Stop chasing them, it isn’t worth your time.
  2. Start Without Them – This is especially true with meetings.  Stop waiting on these people.  It only lets them know that their behavior will be tolerated.  Instead, begin without them.  Don’t wait on their participation.  I recently started a 8 person meeting with only 2 attendees present.  People were surprised when they entered and several decisions had already been made.
  3. Schedule in Buffer Time – If the meeting with the client must start at 9AM, schedule the slowpokes at 830.  If people question the early arrival, be straight with them that it is due to their track of not being on time.
  4. Pick Unusual Times – Schedule time with the timewasters at out-of-the-way times.  Try the end of the day or very early in the morning.  I once had a boss that used to make a point by scheduling “make-up” meetings at the very end of the workday.  Or even before the start of the next day.  Most of the people that fell into this trap were usually the ones that would suffer the most from this type of reschedule.
  5. Stop Dealing With Them Entirely –  Of course, at some point, the most effective way to deal with the timewasters is to stop dealing with them altogether.  This is true whether it is a co-worker, friend, or even client.  I have a rule that if someone cancels/reschedules a meeting more than twice, then I cancel it off my calendar.  It obviously wasn’t that important in the first place.  They can come see me to discuss the issue.

How do you deal with people that are always late?  What other tactics do you use that I have not mentioned here?

Related Posts:

The 5 Best Ways to Defend Your Time

Why You Will be Late to the Meeting

10 Reasons Being Early Saves Time

Filed Under: Time Management
  • http://twitter.com/IAC_Heather Heather

    This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I use the start without you and schedule in a buffer the most from your list.

    The other thing I do is if someone it late for a one-on-one meeting with me, I don't reschedule right away. I will wait a day or two to respond back to reschedule. I can't remember a time when someone was late the second go around.

    • robbyslaughter

      @Heather Usually, I send an email a day or two later saying “I missed you” but not offering any dates to reschedule. I won’t reschedule a missed appointment without at least another two weeks.

    • TMNinja

      @robbyslaughter @Heather Agree! If someone cancels on me more than once… it comes off my calendar. They pretty much need to catch up to me in person if they want back on the schedule. :)

  • Ken

    Single best thing you can do at a meeting is show up on time. That nearly always equals finishing early. Better still, show up early.

  • http://twitter.com/by_nina Nina ♥

    I try to be subtle and persuasive.

  • Pingback: Weekend Reading: My fav’s from this week: 7/2/10 | Heather Villa

  • robbyslaughter

    First: five minutes before an offsite appointment is ready to begin, I try to always send the other person a text that says “I’m here in the back corner! See you soon.” That way they know you are on-time, and it gives them the chance to pre-emptively apologize if they are late.

    This leads me to my main point: <b>the best way to deal with people who are late to appointments is to have something else productive to do while you are waiting.</b> That way, when they show up they see you are busy and have the sense that they may have inadvertantly attempted to waste your time, but you refuse to allow your time to be wasted.

    An additional point is that the longer they make you wait, the more intense your tasks should be. For example, you can start out by catching up on reading or processing some email. But if they have made you wait for a full ten minutes, I suggest making phone calls. Then when they arrive, you can motion for them to sit down while you wrap up. There’s no need to rush at this point, since they’ve already made you wait. And you can finish the call with an indirect phrase: “Hey, I need to let you go, my 3:00 appointment is here.”

  • http://PhilipNowak.com PhilipNowak

    One of the best ways to deal with time wasters is to pre-qualify them in the first place. I often receive emails or LinkedIn messages from individuals who would like to brainstorm, network or “pick-my-brain (@ginidietrich loves this phrase)”. If I find the meeting to be of value to both parties, I accept and reply with my availability. As my schedule tends to fill up looking forward into the next 2 weeks, I usually suggest a time and date 3-4 weeks out unless it is an urgent meeting. I also ask for a concise agenda for the meeting and what the individual would like to get out of the meeting. Amazingly enough, these two qualifiers eliminate most time-wasters. I am always shocked at the drop-off and lack of response (and courtesy) after I send this email reply. I guess the meeting wasn’t worth a 2 minute email reply after all.

  • CathyLevin

    BOTTOM LINE IT IS EXTREMELY RUDE AND PEOPLE WHO DO THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS ARE ETHER ALCOHOLICS, RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS THAT STILL LIE, OR PEOPLE WHO ARE NARCISSISTIC ENOUGH TO THINK THERE TIME IS WORTH MORE THAN OTHERS.

  • CathyLevin

    BOTTOM LINE IT IS EXTREMELY RUDE AND PEOPLE WHO DO THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS ARE ETHER ALCOHOLICS, RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS THAT STILL LIE, OR PEOPLE WHO ARE NARCISSISTIC ENOUGH TO THINK THERE TIME IS WORTH MORE THAN OTHERS.