How to Remain Calm When Others Are Losing It

It’s going to be a chaotic day.

How do I know? It’s Monday.

OK, joking.

But, I do predict that today will be filled with the normal last-minute tasks, fire drills, and unforeseen events.

So, how do you keep yourself from being swept away in the stream of chaos?

How do you remain calm while others are rushing and panicking?

There’s a Problem… Panic!

When things don’t go as planned, how do you react?

Are you the calm one who works to fix things?

Or the one running around like Chicken Little screaming that the sky is falling?

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

– Rudyard Kipling, If

I still vividly remember an incident that happened in my first consultant job after I got out of the Navy.

The story begins one day when one of the software programmers lost his mind.

He was screaming and yelling in his cubicle. You could hear it all the way across the office.

Other people were losing it too… simply because this individual was losing it. They were panicking because he was swearing and yelling.

On the flip side, I was kind of chuckling. I had heard worse across the dinner table while in the Navy. I walked down to see what was going on and how I could help.

Most people were scattering or hurriedly going the other direction.

Dave, the programmer, was physically and emotionally spent by the time I got to his cubicle. He was slumped in his chair. Most people had deserted or cleared the area. I think he was happy that I sat down. I am not sure I said anything, but he explained what had happened and how another individual had caused him to lose several days worth of work.

When he was done venting, we made a few jokes about the situation. There wasn’t anything to do except start again. We planned how we were going to reconstruct the missing work.

Within a week the project was not only back-on-track, but in better shape than before the incident.

How to Keep Your Head

Getting upset or alarmed can seem like natural reactions to a problem.

Here are a few tips to help you remain calm in the face of the storm:

  • Don’t Panic – You are better able to find a solution if you aren’t panicking. If you can keep your head when others are losing theirs, you will be able to make a clear decision in the chaos.
  • There Aren’t Many True Emergencies –  My time as a Naval Officer taught me about true emergencies. In the military, when there is a problem, people can get hurt or die. This is not usually the case when the office copier or email server goes down. Keep things in perspective. There are very few true emergencies in life.
  • Less Talking, More Doing – Many people will spend time talking about the problem. Be the one that does something about it. I have seen executives talk about problems while their entire company burned down. Stop critiquing the fire and grab a bucket of water.
  • Avoid the “Fight or Flight” – When you are stressed, your body will want to go into “fight or flight.” Your body was designed to keep you safe from danger, but its natural reflexes aren’t always the best solution against a project gone awry. Keep your emotions in check and ensure that your physical reflexes don’t make bad decisions for you.
  • Head Into The Problem – While everyone else is running away, true leaders walk into a problem. Sticking your head in the sand only makes things worse. Instead of trying to ignore the situation, get to the heart of the issue as soon as possible. Only then can you address it.

How Will You React?

When you find yourself ready to lose it, take a step back.

Ask, “Is this truly an emergency?”

Keep your head when others are losing theirs.

And you’ll find that you are that much closer to a solution.

Question: How do you react when there is a problem? Are you able to keep calm or do you panic?

8 thoughts on “How to Remain Calm When Others Are Losing It

  1. I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved high pressure situations like this. A lot of people crack but it just makes me more focused.

    Maybe it’s a male thing, but I’ve always enjoyed the challenge of a stressful situation. Shifting my perspective to me vs. the situation has usually summoned up my competitive streak.

  2. Craig,

    I’m like Loren … it seems that I’m quite calm in these kinds of situations.

    And yes, keeping things in perspective is a very powerful way to really see if the situation is really that bad or not.

  3. I love this post! All my life I’ve been on the calm end in stressful situations, rather odd considering my bounce-off-the-wall daily enthusiasm, BUT then my environment changed and my core values were compromised, my clear vision was lost and frustration reigns then suddenly I’M the one losing it!

    Finally I got tired of my chaotic, tornado-like spinning (that, and I ran out of xanax, LOL) and decided to make my own solid ground. So, handful by handful of dirt and rocks, I’m getting back to the “me” that used to be and ditching this out-of-control chic. Thank God I kept my sense of humor throughout this ordeal or I probably would live in a nice padded room right about now. I like daisies.

    I owe you a boatload of gratitude because your words and 31 Days/Ways helped me get back on track. Bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. If the ship is not on fire or sinking, then you don’t have a crisis. You just have a problem that needs a solution. Even when people think they are in a crisis, they lose it. Unfortunately, true crises are few and far between. When a real one comes along, people turn into jelly. You need to anneal yourself against such things by facing bigger and bigger problems head on. (It doesn’t hurt to have solid training and practice, but we aren’t always going to have that in our back pockets)

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